For as long as I can remember my bestie and I have had very different personal styles when it comes to clothing. Not only are our bodies completely different, but our tastes are simply on separate paths. This isn't really something that tends to bother me, because everyone is unique, we all have our own preferences, likes and dislikes, and that's part of what makes every individual so beautiful!
Unfortunately, looking at this photograph made me realize something about myself. I'm not happy with the way I dress. This picture exemplifies an elegance and class that I admire, yet feel that I never seem to achieve. Of course, my friend's dress is nowhere near Lolita and it's not a dress I would feel particularly comfortable wearing, but it does leave me wondering-if I no longer feel beautiful in Lolita nor have I ever in more traditional clothing, then what's left for me?
I realize there are many substyles of Lolitas, but for me, the allure has always been about the grace, delicacy and antique beauty it offers. I wear Lolita in order to feel classy, not cute. Mature, not young. Then I realize that perhaps the problem lies within my utter inability to coordinate, rather than the actual clothes. It's all extremely frustrating, but it's leaving me in a position where all I'm wearing nowadays are the same long skirt+tank top+cardigan combo and all it's doing is leaving me feeling boring, sloppy and ugly. I study the outfits of the Lolitas I admire and attempt to piece together what exactly it is about them that works so beautifully, yet despite my efforts an outfit that filled me with pride at the beginning of the day will so often end in disappointment.
I'm not giving up just yet. Money has been very tight this month so perhaps the problem just lies in the fact that I haven't been able to update the basic of my wardrobe with classier pieces than what I previously had. I have managed to order one new JSK in a completely different style and color than I am used to, and I'm very excited for it to arrive since I hope that perhaps something completely out of my norm will be just the ticket I need to get me back on track, exploring new things and hopefully find myself.