Friday, June 27, 2014

Elegance, maturity and self confidence

Unfortunately this update seems a bit like a continuation of my post I wrote a little earlier this month, but please bear with me. Although I'm very focused on currently upgrading my wardrobe to reflect who I really am, the process is a slow one and I suppose I should have expected some growing pains along the way. 

 Anyway, I would like now to divert your attention to the lovely couple on the left. Aren't they adorable? That would be my gorgeous best friend and her boyfriend, taking a picture just before they set off to a dinner party. I saw this picture pop up on my facebook not to long ago and it struck a chord with me.

For as long as I can remember my bestie and I have had very different personal styles when it comes to clothing. Not only are our bodies completely different, but our tastes are simply on separate paths. This isn't really something that tends to bother me, because everyone is unique, we all have our own preferences, likes and dislikes, and that's part of what makes every individual so beautiful!

Unfortunately, looking at this photograph made me realize something about myself. I'm not happy with the way I dress. This picture exemplifies an elegance and class that I admire, yet feel that I never seem to achieve. Of course, my friend's dress is nowhere near Lolita and it's not a dress I would feel particularly comfortable wearing, but it does leave me wondering-if I no longer feel beautiful in Lolita nor have I ever in more traditional clothing, then what's left for me?

I realize there are many substyles of Lolitas, but for me, the allure has always been about the grace, delicacy and antique beauty it offers. I wear Lolita in order to feel classy, not cute. Mature, not young. Then I realize that perhaps the problem lies within my utter inability to coordinate, rather than the actual clothes. It's all extremely frustrating, but it's leaving me in a position where all I'm wearing nowadays are the same long skirt+tank top+cardigan combo and all it's doing is leaving me feeling boring, sloppy and ugly. I study the outfits of the Lolitas I admire and attempt to piece together what exactly it is about them that works so beautifully, yet despite my efforts an outfit that filled me with pride at the beginning of the day will so often end in disappointment.

I'm not giving up just yet. Money has been very tight this month so perhaps the problem just lies in the fact that I haven't been able to update the basic of my wardrobe with classier pieces than what I previously had. I have managed to order one new JSK in a completely different style and color than I am used to, and I'm very excited for it to arrive since I hope that perhaps something completely out of my norm will be just the ticket I need to get me back on track, exploring new things and hopefully find myself.

Saturday, June 7, 2014

Happy birthday to me!

Today is my birthday!

So, I originally wanted to write something up a little more proper and planned, but today was so crazy that I don't want to miss posting on my actual birthday!

Today was amazing! My older sister took the day to spend with me and go visit the California Coast Ball Jointed Doll Convention! I had such a blast and it's been so long since I've really been able to immerse myself in the bjd hobby. I also took today as an opportunity to dress up! So without further ado, here was my outfit for today.

I do apologize for the little bit of blurriness in these photos (my older sister apparently has a very unsteady hand when it comes to cameras and these were the best of the bunch).

Anywho, I decided to wear my comfiest BttsB JSK and go for a simple kuro look. I decided to nix any jewelry today since I still need a lot of practicing in coordinating the details, but I did wear my beautiful tiara! I admit, ordinarily I never wear tiaras with Lolita, but since it was my birthday I decided it was a bit of a special occasion. My make-up was also very simple since I ran out of time this morning for anything more elaborate, but in the end I think simple worked better for today. And for anyone interested, in my arms is my doll Shetani, a Glorydoll Mitsuki and one of my favorite dolls in my whole collection!

I hope you all had an amazing Saturday!

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Wardrobe Make-Over

Image from We Heart It
My Lolita wardrobe always seems to be in this constant state of flux, and never in a good way. For awhile all I wanted was to wear skirts and blouses. Then I only wanted prints. Then I wanted solid black, all the time. Nothing has ever lasted...except perhaps for my fondness for darker colors.

It's quite frustrating as I've been a Lolita for almost 7 years now (holy frijoles...has it really been that long?), and I still feel like I don't know any more about my style now than I did when I first started out. Sure, I've settled on a few elements that work for me, such as dresses tend to be a lot more flatting on me than skirts, chiffon blouses are amazing and that I'll probably never own a pair of tea parties in my life since dainty heels are just so much cuter, but I've yet to actually open my closet, look at my clothing and think 'Yes. This is exactly what I want.'

My dream is to be able to wear Lolita every day (or as close to every day as possible). Because I work in a very relaxed office, this is actually quite doable so long as I stay away from anything too OTT (which works out well for me as I've never been an OTT type of Lolita anyway). Yet despite this freedom, I find myself recycling through the same four of five outfits constantly and my dresses remain untouched. What gives?

I've decided to need to take a step back and take a really hard and long look at my closet and decide on what's working and what has overstayed its welcome. Unfortunately, that's the easy part. The next step is what I feel I've been truly avoiding for awhile not, but must be done if I ever want to really wear Lolita as often as I hope for. For what I really have to challenge myself to do is have a frank conversation with myself about my style, and what can realistically work on my body as opposed to what grabs me just because it's cute and fits. This also includes color, since I've been so comfortable in solid black for so long now that it's going to be a struggle to branch out to other shades. However, the constant monochromatic look, though pretty, starts to look a little juvenile after awhile and I really need to push myself to go out of my comfort zone. I doubt I'll be wearing tons of creams or pastels any time soon, and black will always have a prominent place in my wardrobe, but I hope to start incorporating some grays or wine reds into the mix.

I know this is going to be a long process, and my wardrobe won't be flipped around overnight. It's going to take some work and some honest thinking and decision making. But I'm excited to start and get back to wearing my frills soon!
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