52 Challenge: Why I wear Lolita

I have a lot of aspirations and dreams for this blog. Nothing crazy or totally wild, but they push me and make me try to be the very best I can. Unfortunately, that also means I have a lot of fears too, and it's because of those fears that have basically already caused me to standstill on updating. What if I sound stupid? What if I'm not as eloquent or smart or beautiful as all the other Lolita bloggers I admire?

Because of these fears, this blog post has been sitting around for weeks, not even half finished, because I'm too afraid of continuing. But then earlier today, I received a Bodyline order I'd been waiting on for almost a month, and I was really excited to finally share my own little review on what I'd received. That's when it hit me-I hadn't even finished this post, how did I possibly think I could start another one? How was I ever going to finish ANY of them?

But you know what? I'm not a quitter. Maybe this isn't the most gorgeously written piece of literature ever, and maybe I don't sound as dainty and posh as I would have liked. But I can always work on that. For now, this is just me being me, and the only way I'm ever going to get this blog up and running is to just push back the doubts, and DO IT.

So, without any further ado, I would like to begin by answering number 7 of the 52 Lolita Blog challenge which was created by the lovely Caro-chan and posted on her popular blog, F Yeah Lolita, which can be found HERE.

Why I Wear Lolita

Why do I wear Lolita?

I wear it for the plain and simple fact that it helps me to feel like something I never thought I would be capable of. I helps me to feel beautiful.

Perhaps that's a very vain and shallow reason to enjoy it. Maybe there's something deeper there that I can't reach right now. But when I sit and think about the question without giving it too much philosophical merit, I find it really all just boils down to the fact that it's one of the extremely rare types of clothing I can put on, look in a mirror, and actually smile back.

When I wear Lolita, I am able to trick the world into thinking I have more confidence than I do. Wearing such unusual clothing tends to garner a bit of attention, which in turn helps me build the impression around myself that I don't care that I stand out and I am simply living my life.

Of course, like many young ladies out there, I am extremely self conscious about how I look and am perceived by others, but by wearing Lolita I find it helps me to step into the role of a self-assured, mature adult with no qualms about who I am or how I feel about myself. I admit, it's a little bit of self trickery, but by pretending to be this person, slowly I hope I can truly transform myself from the inside out into the woman I wish to be.

All in all, Lolita is a healing fashion for me-when I allow it to be. Sadly, it's easy to get caught up in the drama and inner ugliness that's so commonly spread about this fashion, and that very quickly can ruin what was once magical. However, if I take a step back, and allow myself to breathe, the true beauty of the fashion always shines through. Lolita is like the gateway to an enchanted place that is so tiny it's almost impossible to find, but if I open my mind and accept it and myself for what we are, I have the promise of someday finding it in my own time.